Inspire Me! Monday: Getting your children to listen

Getting your children to listen.

Am I the only person who has a child who listens pretty well to others but suddenly has selective hearing when it's time to listen to Mommy or Daddy? 

Really?!   I AM the only one?!

:)

It has been awhile since my last Inspire Me! Monday post, but I found this article online and wanted to put it somewhere that I couldn't lose it and also share it with others.

As a parent, I am constantly learning new things and searching for positive and encouraging ways to fulfill my role as a mommy.  I have read a lot of books lately and found a lot helpful information about how to work things out with my 3 year old as she becomes more and more independent, resourceful and opinionated about her activities and her time.  She is a sensitive, caring, perceptive, structure-loving (and I am not a structured mommy!) beautiful, wonderful girl.  Sometimes we are so different though (and sometimes we are so the same) that I need a little inspiration about how to navigate these young and formative years.

This article by Dr. Sears is one of the most helpful (and short!) articles I have read about speaking to your children and avoiding power struggles while still teaching your child to heed your voice!  I was excited to see there are a few things on the list that I already do (and that work!) and also to see that there were many new ideas that I can try! 

25 Ways to Talk so Children Will Listen

So what do you do to help your child become a better listener? 

Love,
Rachel

PS- Yes I know that it is Sunday, I am just ahead for Monday! :)

Inspire Me! Monday... Put your blinders on!

Welcome to the sporadic postings of Inspire Me! Monday. :)

Today will be a short post (okay- in retrospect it's not short at all- ha!), but hopefully a meaningful one as I share a thought with you that has been burning in my brain for days now.

A friend of mine (who I have mentioned before) who has an awesome blog, business and love for Jesus, wrote a post recently that I want to share with you.

Before I link you to it, I want to tell you what stood out to me most.  I don't know that these were her exact words, but they are close.  Here's what caught me eye (and what I can't get out of my head) from her post.

Wake up each day and do what God wants YOU to do.  Don't wake up and look at what another blogger, pinterester, friend, etc is doing and then wonder if you are doing enough.  Wake up and figure out how YOU are supposed to live YOUR life according to God's plan for YOU.  Period.

Here's the link to the Post: Little Bit Funky, A Resolution For Us All!

In general, I don't play the comparison game.  I don't look at Crystal's blog and think "She does so much and I feel insecure today, so I think I'll decide that she and others like her must not have her priorities straight."  Ummm.... no.

However, I DO fall prey sometimes to looking around at what others are doing and think... "Maybe I should be doing that too?  They are obviously amazing at following God and serving their family, so maybe I should follow their example!"

I forget that instead of modeling my life after really great people and all the great things they are doing, I should be modeling my life after ONE person.

Each day that I am given has a purpose and a plan.  And at this point, believe-you-me, it looks different than most other people's lives I know!  I am semi- housebound with a low immune-system child and 30 weeks pregnant with twins which makes me feel like a big walrus lumbering around.  I am realizing that in order to do what God wants me to do to serve my family in this season, it takes doing a very little bit at a time with a LOT of focus. 

What kind of terrible trap would I be setting for myself if I compared my list of *four things* I must do today to another person's of 10, 20 or 50 things to do today?  What have I gained if I spend my time chasing and trying to achieve what other people are doing if I am neglecting my own purpose in life?

So for Inspire Me! Monday today, think about God's purpose for you and you alone.  Take one step at a time no matter what your life looks like and know that God's plans are greater than what everyone else might be doing.  If we as Christians all focus on the His purpose for our lives, that is how we function as one body.  All of us have different roles, jobs and amounts of work to do based on our own special abilities.  Be encouraged that God created your purpose with you in mind.  And there is no shame in obedience to Him- even at the expense of not doing what everyone else is doing.  Today I pray that you will lay your life down to the only One that matters and find yourself to be lifted up.

Love,
Rachel

"You are worried and upset about many things, but only ONE thing is needed." Luke 10:42

"Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you^.  Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways.  Do not turn to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil. " Proverbs 4:25-27

Inspire Me! Monday... Doing What You Dream of!

Personally, I have a several different dreams for my life.  The first one is really simple.  I have always wanted to be a mom.  It's what I was made for.  Even among my friends, they always called me the "mom" of the group.  Constantly worried for others safety, convinced we would get caught if we ever did anything slightly different than what our parents wanted (this lasted till college) and compassionate toward others' problems, I definitely earned my reputation as extremely mom-like.  In elementary school, I dressed up as a "professional babysitter" for career day.  (I wore a long skirt, a cardigan sweater and carried a baby doll.)  I have always known that I LOVE children- even when I was one.

Today's "Inspire Me!" Monday post is dedicated to doing what you love.

Are you currently doing what you love?

Being a mom and a wife is my #1 purpose (and on most days I really love that).  But since I was seven or eight, I have also always loved ballet.  I'm not sure what it is about dancing (and particularly ballet), but it has always "hit the spot" in a way that no other activity could.  The French language and experiencing Francophone cultures is another one of my passions.  Above everything though, is my desire to know God's plan for my life.  Following that has always come completely first- irregardless of what other things I enjoy.

In my life, I have gotten married when part of me was longing to live overseas; I have worked when I would rather have been caring for my family and my home; I have lived in a small town when I longed to live in a city; and I spent many years without any connection to dance while I longed to return to something that made me so happy to do.  I have always tried to choose God's plan over my own, and for a long time that did not include doing certain things that I really wanted to.

Now, I'm not complaining at all.  I am just saying that for everything there is a time and a place and a season. 

Like now- I am loving teaching dance part time and choreographing part of our Christmas show this year.  Working with students and putting on a production fills me in a way that nothing else can, and I am thankful for the green light I have gotten from God and my family to dedicate a limited portion of my life to a local dance studio.

Writing on this blog is even like that too (but of course it always come second to my family, which is why I am a bit on again off again around here).  Another creative outlet that allows me to work on another passion (writing and staying connected with others).

I think that it is amazing that for a time, I lived in a situation where a lot of my personal dreams were put on hold and now, years later, I have an outlet for several of them.

What dreams are on hold for you today?  What dreams are you getting to live out?

Now, in the midst of me being really thankful that I get to live some of my dreams out, I could totally try to tell you that if you are in a season where you are waiting on fulfilling those dreams, then you should just be patient.  I could probably get away with telling you that God will honor your season of waiting with a season of fulfillment.  But I don't believe that is a guarantee.  God is good, though.  And I can guarantee you that trusting God with your head and your heart completely is always the best choice for your life one way or another.  When I trusted God with my dreams, it didn't have anything to do with thinking that one day I would get to fulfill them.  Instead it had to do with trusting a bigger God.  A higher being.  Someone better than me at planning my own life.  God does create people with a purpose and (ultimately good) plans for their lives.  So living that out can be more exhilarating than anything we could possibly plan on our own.

So those are my thoughts on living out our dreams, God's plans and finding fulfillment in your role in life.  Here are some more thoughts on living your dreams in true Inspire Me! Monday fashion...

Being a Mom- AND following your God Given Dreams

The Right Fit (and a little pixie dust)

And here's a post that goes along with what I was talking about yesterday...

Reader Raid: A Happy Homeschool

And here's one that is just plain funny...

I was Snape.

Please pray for those of us toward the East coast waiting as hurricane/tropical storm Sandy hits.

I hope you found Inpsire Me! Monday refreshing to return to today!

Prayers for all of us!

Rachel

Inspire Me! Monday: Take Care of Yourself

I talked last week about cleaning... and wow! I guess the posts I found and the books I've been reading truly have been inspiring me. I have seen more change in myself and better results in my home this past week than ever before in my life.

I have made some simple changes that have led me to even deeper discoveries about myself. Here they are...

1. Grocery shopping on Sundays - What a blessing to let Christian take care of Melody and shop without distractions. This allows me to get more done during the week which makes Saturday day my "day of rest."

2. Laundry on Mondays- I love knowing that Monday is coming and I will KILL the laundry piles! Putting on a movie and folding laundry at the end of the night is actually fun! I smile at the pile of clean clothes growing on the couch all day since I know what personal "me" time I'm going to get at the end of the night:) Then I put everything away that night that I can and the rest gets put away the next day.

3. "Clean the House" on Thursdays- This day is for cleaning up before the week-end. My husband gets stressed in a messy environment. Now I can clean the house on a day when it counts to him. If the house is messy during the week, it is easier for him to handle since he isn't home very much. It is a great goal to be able to rest in a clean house (and maybe even invite people over!) on the week-ends!

4. Let the other days go! - Know that not every moment of my life needs to be filled with productivity. I am working to make some days REALLY count and other days have some give and take to them as I manage our home, motherhood and working 2 part time jobs.

I am breathing a huge sigh of relief because I feel I have FINALLY found a taking-care-of-my-home routine that works for me...

Whew...

Although that is a post in itself, I needed to share that so I can also talk about what is happening in my brain now that I am freed up from (a little bit of) messiness in my house.

I have realized that in my usual daily frenzy, I try to tackle EVERYTHING, ALL THE TIME and therefore don't take care of the ONE THING that is most important... me!

The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Covey describes this as "taking care of your goose." He says that if you have a goose that lays golden eggs, what good are the golden eggs without the goose? You have to care about the goose (so it continues to lay eggs) just as much as you care about the eggs (i.e. the product or productivity).

Translation:
If I don't take care of myself, of course my house will be in shambles... I won't have the energy for it!
If I don't take care of msyelf, of course my daughter will be cranky... She has a cranky mama!
If I don't take care of myself, of course my husband is more likely to be argumentative... I am probably not being so nice to him if I'm not doing well.
If I don't take care of myself, of course I feel like I have nothing to offer... Because the truth is, I really don't!

Here are the ways I need to do better to take care of myself...
1. Get more sleep. I know I need 8-9 hours to feel good but constantly stay up late anyway. I will never feel better until I change this.
2. Get fully dressed first thing every day. I am always afraid to call people back, run an errand or generally be in touch with the world when I have an "at home" day because I'm generally not ready for the day. (Did I just admit that to the world? On the internet? Oh boy.)
3. Use a monthly planner and a To-Do List. This just makes me better on top of things and less forgetful.
4. Take moments for God and moments for myself every day. I think sometimes I also procrastinate on work because I am afraid I won't GET to take care of myself. Talk about crazy. This FEAR totally perpetuates the CRAZY cycle. Worry I won't get to take care of myself, procrastinate work, work builds up, do the marathon for the work, wind up not taking care of myself, burn out... rinse & repeat... I think I need a therapist... oh wait! That's why I have you! ;-)
5. Eat 3 meals a day and drink water. I have mentioned before how sometimes this escapes me. Don't kid yourself... you do it too.

I admit I am not normal. Most people don't struggle with the most ABSOLUTE BASIC things in life (sleeping enough, eating enough, getting dressed in the morning... haha!), but I will bet there are things that you need that you aren't getting. We are women after all, and everyone else always come first. I'm not saying it's bad to put others first... just that we also need to care for ourselves.

So what is it? What do you need in your life to be better taken care of? More sleep? Time for stress relief each week? Each day? (I know some of you reading this have very demanding lives!) Exercise? More water?

This is not a "what could you to do to be a better person" type question. I want you to really think. Are you missing something in your life that is VITAL to your ability to function in your job or as a person? Think about it while you read these inspiring posts and leave a comment below. As always, I look forward to hearing from you! Happy Monday!

The Art of Rest

The Most Important Hour of the Day

I'm Officially a Morning Person

Be More Joyful

For the Mama's of Preschoolers & Older Kids Too