Life Happens and Lent

So here is the big reveal of my now highly organized closet!

Do you recognize anything???

If you look closely...


Very closely...


You will see...


that...


this is not my closet!

:-)

Did I get you??

So last Friday was supposed to be the big reveal for my closet...

There is a saying that my friends in Mary Kay like to use for situations like these... "Life happens."


I am amazed at my ability to be so busy even without a foster child. Just when you think you are going to have a "normal" week, it never happens, does it? Since last week (and this week) turned out to be so much more chaotic than I expected, I hope to have the closet ready for your viewing pleasure sometime over the week-end. :)


So instead of a closet reveal, I am switching topics a little to talk about something very special to me... Lent.

Here goes...

As Christians, 40 days before Easter, we fast and pray to prepare for the celebration of Christ's death and resurrection.

The general gist is that we practice giving something up (traditionally it is food) so that we can learn to hunger for God, so to speak. We take out something that distracts us from God so our focus on our relationship with Him can be stronger. These days there are lots of things- not just food- that we over saturate ourselves with that we can give up to achieve that goal.

In my circle of protestant Christians, it is not necessarily a given that everyone will fast. It is more of a choice, and honestly I can't even remember if I gave something up last year. (I do remember though that my friends Kristan and Chase did the Daniel fast and I thought they were a little bit insane ;) ). This year I have gone back and forth about what I want to give up or change for this season and finally this past week-end I think I figured out what I am going to do.

I know I keep referencing our experience with foster care over the last few months but it really has taught me so much. During a time of crisis, it was interesting how close to God I felt all the time. I constantly ran to Him for peace in the midst of chaos, for clarity in the midst of confusion, guidance when we had to make difficult decisions and the grace to cover over them.

Somewhere in the new testament (forgive me for not knowing the reference) it says "In our struggles we know Christ". This has always proven true in my experience, but in the last few months it was even more true (if it is possible for something to be "more" true). I relied on God daily because I had to. Without Him and the prayers we constantly asked for from others, I don't think we would have survived the time with our foster son well at all. Without God's help, I don't think we would have lasted a week with him.

The whole relying on God aspect of fostering left me with a taste in my mouth of desiring God's presence even more. As I have mentioned before I am not a self-disciplined person. I am externally motivated- meaning it is difficult for me to do things like read my Bible every day just because it's a good thing. I read my Bible when I am excited about knowing God! This is dangerous though, because when I am not excited, I settle for less.

After a conversation with my sister on Saturday, we identified that we both have trouble putting off things that we need to do in favor of things we want to do. For example, I may need to wash the dishes, but I want to watch Gilmore Girls. Guess which one I usually do more of?

Then as I sat in church on Sunday I realized that even more deeply than being a little bit spoiled, I actually find "coasting" or "existing" (as in not straining forward toward a goal or purpose) familiar and comfortable. I feel "at home" in my life when I am sitting around on my bum- not really a stellar thing to admit about yourself, but you only improve when you can be honest about where you are, right? Working a job, or going to school and then coming home and not doing much was what my family did growing up. It made sense for my parents- they were already where they wanted to be in life- good jobs, my dad had his own business, raising kids, being involved in a church. So they were exhausted at the end of the day! For me though, I have realized whenever I am at home (even though home is my work now!), it is familiar and comfortable for me to walk around in my PJ's and watch TV a lot or generally not do much of anything.

Now don't get me wrong... I do stuff! I take care of my daughter, volunteer with our church, teach ballet, have a part-time business of my own and watch kids a couple of times a week. But the work-at-home stuff is what I like to procrastinate about since I have this correlation that at home means "time off".

So anyway, on Sunday it dawns on me. As I listen to our pastor speak, the word intentionality comes to mind. Intentionality is what I am lacking. Coasting is what I need to fast this Lent Season, and I can do that by being intentional in my whole life (similar to my thinking about needing to make a plan) but especially in the area of my relationship with God.

This is what I mean by that.

As I said before, I tend to read my Bible when I am excited about what God is doing, when I need to teach a Bible study or if I am searching for answers. I pray for others when people come to mind or they ask me to, but although I pray daily, it is usually without any structure, rhyme or reason. Now I'm not saying that it's not okay to pray that way- because it is. I'm not even saying that it's wrong to not read your Bible every day- before the printing press hardly anyone had them. But what I am saying is that doing these things intentionally will draw me close to God. They will help me sense Him and understand Him, and praying for others regularly and specifically will deepen my heart of compassion for people as well as benefit them to be covered in prayer!

I am so excited to begin this journey of being intentional with prayer and time with God daily and letting this one idea seep into the rest of my life.

So tell me, (if you feel comfortable sharing) what are you fasting for Lent? And what led you to that decision?